If this is how my life is going to be, I don’t want it anymore
When we say the words Self Harm, we automatically think of cutting. But there are so many other versions of inflicting harm upon yourself that wont be considered.
It’s not all about putting a blade to your skin, it can be picking away at your skin to make it bleed or bringing you to cause blistering. Not wanting to eat, skipping meals because you don’t deserve to eat today. It’s about drinking excessively to drown all your sorrows away because you don’t want to think anymore. It’s not wanting to take the paracetamol to help stop the pain because that is what you deserve, or taking to many paracetamols in a hope that you can stop all the pain in your life. It’s smoking, and not because you addicted to the nicotine because you know its killing you on the inside.
Can you tell me where any of this me attention seeking though? We say people who Self Harm are attention seekers, but were in that description does it say that I want your attention? It doesn’t, not one of the sentences include anything to do with gaining attention.
When I put that blade to my skin, skip that meal or smoke the cigarette, I’m causing deliberate harm to myself. Do you know why I do this though? We are quick to assume that a self-harmer is an attention seeking, but do you know why?
I feel like I deserve it. I don’t know why I think this, but my brain thinks this is the most logical thing to do. All the things mentioned on different ways you can hurt yourself, I do every single one of them. So when you mock people like me, people who are struggling to find their will to live, you are contributing to the harm in hurting themselves. You are the reason why I think I’m going crazy, and make me feel so little for doing this.