It took all my strength. Blood, sweat and tears went into me doing this. Over 50 panic attacks and many sleepless nights. Self-harming my way through to keep going. Finally, I have won a battle and I could not be happier with myself!
A while ago, I wrote a post about having a bad panic attack just before walking into an exam. If any of you saw the state I was in, you would have thought death had greeted me. Today, I got the results of the exams. I only got a Merit and Pass in them!!! That’s with me having one of the worst experiences in my life, having virtually no one there to support me and comfort me and going into the exams in the worst state imaginable. I’ve not been this happy in years.
We always say we need people to help us through our dark times, but in the end, sometimes we have to be our own hero. We have to save ourselves in our worst times, and not to rely on anyone else. I learnt that the hard way, but it only made me come out stronger. And yes, I know I sound like a cliche but everything I’m saying is true. If any of you read that post, you will remember that I expressed how none of my friends helped me. I relied heavily on them, to begin with, but now I’ve learnt that sometimes the only way you can do something, is doing it yourself.
So to all the people out there who struggle with bad Mental Health and exams, I’m living proof that you can do this on your own. You don’t need anyone to save you, walk in and own it. I had tears streaming down my face, swollen eyes, feeling faint and was sick, and I still made it through. And I still passed the exams. It was hard, but the feeling you get after you’ve done it, it compares to no other.
Be your own superhero, I believe in you x