Fighting

We live in a society that believes if you have a Mental Illness that it looks beautiful. The amount of comments I get saying ‘You rock your Mental Illnesses’ or ‘You make ill look beautiful’ is staggering. I’m here to tell you something though, being Mentally Ill is not something to make look beautiful.

We live in a society that believes that Self Harming and the scars left is something beautiful. My scars are not beautiful though, far from it. They are times that I have been at war with myself and I lost that fight. Having an Anxiety attack is not cutely vulnerable, Eating Disorders are not something to be glamorised, Depression is not someone crying like they do in movies.

I want to make it clear though that its okay if you are suffering right now because I am too. It doesn’t make you weak nor pathetic than anyone else. Despite this though, suffering is not beautiful nor is it glamorous. It’s not something I would wish on my worst enemy to go through. You know why? Because it’s living in hell.

I have to fight to live every day. I went to sleep last night crying my eyes out, to then wake up this morning feeling lifeless. This week at college, I was falling asleep in lessons, throwing up in the toilets, and Self Harming at any point I felt stressed. Its come to the point that I’m now starting to lose my temper at people, yelling at them and punching walls.

Tell me whats beautiful about all this though? Please, I beg you to tell me why my Mental Health is getting glamorised to be something so poetic by society.

~MonstersLivingInMyMind~

 

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