Withdraws

Well.. withdraws are fun, aren’t they? Especially when they are unintentional ones. I take medication, and with recently coming out of the NHS exemptions scheme because of my age, apparently, I can no longer afford to pay for my own medication!

I’m currently laying in bed, watching Netflix while shaking, feeling light-headed, having nosebleeds and vomiting. What a fun life I lead! I’m not writing this for pity though, nowhere near that. I want to get the message across that medication is addictive and it’s not as simple as you think coming off it. Its freaking hard to come of something that your body has become very dependent on.

I would love to come off my medication, so much would I love for this to happen. Until you know what it is like to become addictive to something, and how hard it is to try and come off that, please do not stand there and judge me for what I am doing. Some would probably say I slightly abuse my medication, as I don’t need so much of this and that of another, but guess what?! I can’t help it anymore. I want to get off this so bad, but the more I use it, the more my body depends on it.

‘Well, Chelsea maybe if you did not take them in the first place you wouldn’t be in this mess’ Yes, you are right. But when you are diagnosed at 16 with Depression and Suicidal Idealisation, and trying to keep this all a secret from your parents, this was the quickest and easiest option that I could find. Take a few pills, and I would be as happy as rain. Or that’s what I thought at least. I’m very lucky that I have only tried 3 different sorts of tablets for this; Citalopram, Sertraline, Back to Citalopram and now on Duloxetine.

I used to be cautious of what I took, not wanting to take to many of anything. Now if a Doctor tells me I need this drug, man I’m all over it without reading the leaflets. I do this because I just want this all to stop. And now not being able to afford my own tablets is killing me.

Withdrawing from your tablets is not fun.

~MonstersLivingInMyMind~

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