Selfish

They will ignore you until they need you

So recently I have been giving support and help to a friend of mine. This friend of mine suffered from Anxiety, Depression & Eating Disorder. She self-harms and is constantly fluctuating in and out of suicide. So me being me, I said I would support her the best way I could.

Most nights she would come to me in pieces, saying that she couldn’t cope. I gave and gave to her, every bit of help I could give to her I would. Then one night, she self-harmed while talking to me. This hurt me and it’s probably not for the reason you think.

It was not because I have helped her and why would she do this to me, it’s because she never thought about me in this situation. For those of you who are new, I suffer from Mental Health myself and have bad coping mechanisms, and for her to do this, it triggered me. I was 2 months clean, hello day 0 again. I simply said to her she needed to ring CMHT (Community Mental Health Team) and disclose this information to them, or ring 111 to get help and/or information. For the next few

For the next few hours, I kept talking to her, making sure she was okay and ensuring that she safe. A few days went by, and I found myself in a dilemma. I needed her help. I was having a panic attack and asked for some help, and the first thing she was done- she changed everything back to her. There was no Are you okay? What can I do to help you? Nothing. She said My days been bad too, I have tried to overdose today. That is what hurt. How I always dropped everything for her, but this one time I needed someone she couldn’t face the fact it wasn’t her suffering.

Maybe it’s selfish of me to say that she was hurting that day and that she needed support. She made me feel like she could be the only one who has problems though, and that’s when everything just fell into place for me… she only talks to me when she needs me.

~MonstersLivingInMyMind~

3 thoughts on “Selfish

  1. lingersforever says:

    I know the feeling and know how much it hurts when you’ve invested so much time and support in someone who can’t or won’t do the same. It’s possible she wasn’t in the right place to be able to support you but it’s wrong for her to handle it in the way she did. All it takes is for the person to say that they just can’t cope with that. Hope you’re okay and if we can help on here then feel free to come here xxx

    Like

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