Change

I hate change. It’s something that I cant deal with too well, and that’s why I haven’t been active recently. My summer has been full of change, some for the good, others for the bad but I’m just going to focus on the positive.

I was able to step on a bus multiple times a day without having any fear, and with little discomfort being around other people. Something that might be simple for someone else but is incredibly difficult for me. I rehearse the lines of where I am going in my head to speak to the driver over and over and think of every question they could ask me to have the correct answer. Finding the correct seat on the bus as I don’t particularly want to speak or sit next to anyone else due to my personal space issue. Just the simple things.

I quit smoking finally! I have now been vaping and it has made such a good change for me in my life. I have to thank my youth worker for pressuring me into this, as if not for her I would not be doing what I am now, giving up something that destroys me.

I walked into my new college and spoke to various staff members without having one panic attack, nor an overwhelming feeling of Anxiety. This is my biggest change of all of them, as I don’t like being thrown in the deep end. I honestly feel like I’m happy over this, that I have found my little happy place, and that makes me so good and happy.

Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed and rearranged to relocate us to the place we are meant to be.

~ MonstersLivingInMyMind~

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