“I wish I was a little girl again because skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts”

Unfortunately, me and Rhys have split. I decided that I needed to focus on my Mental Health and have my full commitment in my road to recovery so I can learn to love with all my heart. I did the decent thing by phoning him and wrote a full speech explaining my reasons. Still, though, I don’t think he understands and that’s okay. I feel so bad, but I can’t commit to something that I’m not fully into.

Knowing I have broken someone’s heart even though I still love them is horrible, and something I never wanted to do. He has helped me out so many times. The thing is though, I don’t think he got what I was going through. When I said I relapsed, he wanted to facetime me, but I wasn’t ready to face anyone at that prior moment, and he seemed to get annoyed at me through this. When I said that I had signed up to volunteer with YPC, he seemed to get annoyed that he wouldn’t get to see me, although I gave him lots of opportunities to do so.

He said to Rhi I want you to talk some sense into her! and yes I know he is hurting, but that hurt to hear. Like my Mental Health was nothing to him. I had my full sense with me, I hadn’t slept for weeks from just worrying over this relationship, I relapsed from this relationship, and he just couldn’t see it. And yes, this is selfish of me to say, but I’m just a human who has got shit going on in her life, and yes I hurt a guy who was so pure, but you can’t stay in something for all the wrong reasons.

I spoke to him this morning, and I could tell I have hurt him. I wish I could fix broken hearts, and anyone he dates in the future, they are lucky as hell, because he is one hell of a decent bloke, who would not harm a fly. If you do read this Rhys, please know that it’s not your fault, I just need time to fix myself.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s