You made my life hell. You never realised though, and that’s the worst. You have Autism, so what you were doing was acceptable to you, but to me, it was not even close. But I can’t put all the blame on you. The school has to take some of it.
My secondary school had under 400 pupils in it, and everyone knew everyone. I live in a small community where a school claims to be supportive. So tell me, where you supportive when I came to you in tears saying that this boy was following me? Where you supportive when I came to you saying this boy was touching me? No. You were never there for me. You thought me acting up in lessons was just a ‘rebel’ stage, it was never that, I never wanted to go to lessons because HE was there. You could not give two shits about that though. You thought I was just being a teenager when all I wanted was someone to ask me how I was.
Between both of you, you caused my self-esteem to go plummeting to the floor. I can’t walk into a classroom without feeling like I’m back in the school, being violated of my personal space. I can’t go to an exam without screaming and freaking out before hand because the silence brings back the memories of when you left me there. You left me there, with him, thinking that I was being dramatic. When I told you he touched me, you told me to stop being stupid.
When I told you he touched me, you told me to stop being stupid. You used his Autism as an excuse to not do anything. I work with children across the whole spectrum, and not once have I used that as an excuse of why they have pushed another child, or why they are acting up. They still need to know the difference between right and wrong.
The worst thing, this triggered me to start self-harming. I have scars on my body because you failed to take action. I have studied the Safeguarding policy inside out, and you clearly ignored all the signs that I presented. Even when you saw my open wounds, you never once thought to ask am I okay.
Between both of you, I just want to thank you. Thank you Boy, for making me feel worthless. Thank you, School, for leaving me in hell. Thank you, both, for letting me harm myself. You should take credit for what you have done.
~Monsters Living In My Mind~