I want to warn everyone now, this will involve swearing, I apologise.
Tell me why. Why am I like this? Why does it have to be me? Why to the person who tries so hard in their life, does it get thrown back in their faces? Because I try so fucking hard every day to please everyone, while I’m breaking down inside. And what do I get? A bucket tonne of shit landing on me.
No one in this whole world knows what goes on behind closed doors, but somehow we find it in our god given right to piss people about and fuck them over again and again. So answer me this, why should I stay? Why should I stick around? If all I get in this life is shit after shit, why should I stick around? Because thus far, my life this past couple of years have bring nothing but pain and misery upon me.
They say that your life gets better, but when? Tell me when this will get better? I’m sitting here, crying my eyes out, just wondering when this will all be over, and things will be fine. There not fine, they have been fine for ages, I can’t even remember what feeling right felt like. It’s all good giving me tablets, and yes, I won’t deny they do help, but they don’t cure. I thought I was getting better, but Hey! Here we are again, back to square fucking one again.
Why should I take these tablets? My body obviously does not want to work with them. Yeah, I have better days with them, even weeks if I’m lucky, but then comes the moment when I’m on such a high, and suddenly the low is there. Waiting, it’s just waiting for me. It comes back. It always does.
Tell me why? Because I’m honestly losing faith.
~Monsters Living In My Mind~