Clean

Hello Everyone!

Okay, I’m just going to be straight out and honest with you guys. I relapsed. 22 days clean, and I went back to my beloved self-harm ways.

You can all be mad at me, I more likely deserve it. The thing is, we always get asked why we self-harm, and the truth is (for me anyway), it’s my escape from reality. I don’t have control in my life, and I can only control a few things, and I can control this.

Controlling how I feel makes me feel like I have control over my life, even if it is just for 30 seconds. To know when I self-harm, to know what I am doing, it makes me feel human. And I am 100% aware of how crazy that sounds, but its true, I feel like I can be a normal human being again.

I know its stupid. I was reading an article the other day about mental health and self-harm, and loads of people said it’s ‘Just a cop out’, or ‘There are people fighting for their lives, and here you are trying to end it’. A famous quote goes something like Take a walk in my shoes, and see what my life is like. Forget my shoes, take a trip in my mind, live in it for 1/2 hour, and then tell me its a walk in the park.

~Monsters Living In My Mind~

6 thoughts on “Clean

  1. Ivy says:

    It’s okay. Relapses happen. I understand. You’ll start again and as cliche as it sounds, it’ll get better. Every time I relapse, all I think is that okay, I messed up but I’m going to start over. Please take care of yourself and I’m here if you need me.

    Like

  2. Kiersten says:

    It is the best time to make a few plans for the future
    and it’s time to be happy. I’ve learn this put up and if I could I want to recommend
    you few fascinating things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article.
    I wish to learn more issues about it!

    Like

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