Well, well, well, here we are, the final chapter of my childhood before I hit my adult years.
Welcome to college, aka Hell, as to me it definitely feels like that to me. Some of my darkest hours have been spent in college. I hit a all time low when starting college, but *touches wood* not rock bottom. My self harming became more regular, Anxiety came back with vengeance, eating got worse again, and binging and fasting became a part of me. To throw everything into the mix, depression decided to walk along into my life to say hi, but decided to stay for a while.
At the beginning my tutor was really supportive over all this, but as time went on, I felt like I could not speak to her. She would ring my parents up, saying everything that I said in confidence to her. This lead to a pretty big argument with my parents, and me losing every bit of respect I had for her. I felt at college I could be me, and let my bad days come and not be feared of trying to hide them. Now I come into college with a massive smile on my face, one that i am better of painting on as it would look less fake. I cant forgive her for doing that to me, she hurt me more than she will ever know.
Shoved from pillar to post, arguments with teachers, walking out of re take classes, that all came too. When I look back, yeah I was probably over reacting, but in that time I felt bad, and was in a bad place and they would not understand.
Maybe they will understand this year, my 1st year as an adult.
~Monsters Living In My Mind~