Sometimes we try and try and try, but things just don’t work out. Many times in my life I have tried to do something, and it does not work out.
I try to please people everyday, day in day out, but it does not always work out. Some days just get the better of me, and I can’t please them. I hate saying no, especially when it is a friend asking for help, as I know physically I cant do nothing to help them because I’m not in the right frame of mind. I know they wont mind, but no matter what, I still feel guilty. I always feel like a disappointment.
I try to always keep up with my college work, but I always get behind, I disappoint my teacher every time, and I hate myself for it. She always tells me to manage my time wisely, and to put more effort in, I try so hard to do that, but I sit on my bed each night, just wishing my pain would go away, I can’t even focus to try and get to sleep, how can I focus on work?
I try to fit in with normal everyday society, but it never works. I somehow make myself stick out, be that I don’t look like everyone else, or that I just dont feel in the mood to talk as it is an off day.
I wish I could be normal, but where is the fun in that? One day maybe, one day.
~ Monsters Living In My Mind ~