Something I find when my mental health is getting tough is going to a place I love, or grabbing an object that comforts that comforts me.
Going to my happy place, physically, is a beach. I adore going to the beach as do many people. When there, I feel like my emotions are collected by the tide, and dragged out back to sea. The sand between my toes lets me feel I can do anything with my life, that there are no boundaries. Just listening to the sea waves, hearing people laugh and children giggling in delight when the sea catches them, it just makes me feel all is okay again.
As for a physical object if I can’t get to the beach, is anything that is fluffy and is squeezable. At the moment, this is a blanket that my friend got me for Christmas last year. At nights, where I just lay awake, or in the day time when I cant move, i just cover myself in this blanket, and it feels like someone is giving me a big hug, telling me everything will be okay again. She thought it would just be a nice decor item, she does not know how much it means to me
But what happens to me when I’m stuck in a situation where I don’t have anything with me, say for instance in college. This is always a hard one, as I am in a setting that I dont fully trust, and it takes ages to settle me back down. I’m so grateful for another few friends. They dont read this blog, like none of my friends do, as I haven’t told them about this yet. But if one day they find this, then these notes are for them.
Rhiannon, you have seen me at my best, and at my worst. You give me hope when all mine is lost, you give me the warmest hugs when I feel like I’m in a dark cold ally with no way out. You do everything for me, and I just can’t thank you enough for that.
John, how the hell do you put up with me?! You are literally the best person when it comes to me texting you in a panic, I might not ever seem grateful, but I truly am. You got me through secondary school with all the exams, and when I got my rubbish results back, you just said ‘Always look on the bright side of life – Brian 2015’, and that sticks with me.
Kate, friends since year 7, and you never gave up on me, even in the worst times of my life back then. When I hit a dark time, you helped me, you just kept carrying on, you never left me at my darkest hour.
Last, but certainly not least, Rhys. You have only stepped in my life recently, but you don’t know what impact you have made, whenever your icon flashes up, it warms my heart, as you take me for me, you dont want to change little things about me, you accept all my problems, and take them with you. Thank you so much.
To anyone else who as helped me, I thank you all, all the thanks in the world would not be enough for you.
~Monsters Living In My Mind~